Put Down the Toast
Stand up if you have to sit through team-building exercises in your job.
Stay standing if you hate them.
While you are up there, tell us the third emotion you felt when you were last making toast.
Sometimes it can feel that obscure and personal.
Last time I made toast, I was thinking about my sons who live too far away, and I was wondering if they even have toasters. I thought about my mom and her toaster oven, and then I considered if my dad ever ate toast. I don’t have toast, just a toasted peanut butter sandwich most times. When I am looking for a crunch midmorning, I usually opt for granola; in the afternoon, mostly chips. At a restaurant, I’ll order a biscuit. And in all of that, not one time did I consider what emotion I was feeling, and if I had, I probably wouldn’t want to share it with other education professors I don’t know.
You probably don’t want to share it at your office either.
And yet, that is what we do across the country every day, building teams. Leaders believe that to build a team you have to get people sharing. I don’t disagree, but I think that we put too much of the responsibility on so-called leaders, and it comes off as forced, contrived, or overly personal.
My hot take is that principals, superintendents, directors, and VPs should be more focused on the job at hand than on building teams. Let me say that again: I don’t think leaders should be spending so much time on teams.
See. That’s a hot take.
Because we have spent the better part of this decade (so many decades) talking about what a good leader does to build teams. We think that the team has to be led.
What if it doesn’t? What if the grown adults on the team build the team?
You see, I believe . . . I strongly believe that we show up to our workplaces as grown-ups who work better in environments where we can share the workload and build relationships. That means we are responsible for the teamwork that happens in the workplace.
I have sat in rooms where the leader has done a song and dance—literally, Tracy, I’m looking at you. And when they do it well, the team responds and big, great things happen. But just as often, there are people smugly sitting on the edges not participating or, worse yet, derailing the work. I think it happens because they get uncomfortable. They are asked to do things they don’t want to do by leaders they don’t necessarily need or want to follow.
In my slice of the world, educators are the worst. We work endlessly to build community in our own classrooms, but get us in a room together and we will be on our phones, we will gossip and crochet, we will roll our eyes and shop on Amazon. We will act like our time is being wasted when we know deep down the leaders are really doing it for us.
So, that’s where this thinking enters. I don’t think it is the job of the leader to build the team. I think the team needs to do the heavy lifting. I think there are roles to be filled by everyone, including the leader, but the role of team builder? That is for all of us.
Consider it: if you are on a new team and your job is to make it the best team ever, you do things. Show up, ask questions, engage, share about yourself, share resources, share what’s worked before and where there has been conflict, own your stuff, and ask for help. You don’t sit passively and wait for the boss to ask the just-right question that might get you to share one thing personal that might make all the difference. You speak up.
And you include others.
You cheer for others. Including the leader.
Imagine that, being able to settle into the day and be a real part of the team building and thinking and planning rather than trying to get adults to do things they really don’t want to do.
Now leaders, I know, we have told you to eat last, lead from behind, carry a service attitude, inspire, dress the part, bleh. Imagine if what you need to do is more horizontal, more coming alongside, more sidling up to the team and figuring out what needs to come next, interjecting goals and ideas, supports and even counter ideas. Could you do it? Are you willing to let the team lead the team parts?
What would we need to be able to flip this? What changes would need to happen? What tools? What resources? What mindsets? What research would you need to believe it is possible? What would you do if the team is missing a member who can do the things you can’t do?
So many things to consider, but I believe we start small. What if the next time we show up and a leader is in front of us hustling the team time, rather than pushing back or sighing deeply, we acted like we were in it with them? How might that one shift change the trajectory of the team?
Of course, the next questions are: What if a person on the team doesn’t think they have to act like they are on a team? And how should leaders spend their time? We’ll get there.
This month, as we head back to the classroom, I’m focused on teamwork. Next week, I’ll dive into the roles we play on teams. If you want to get there quicker, let’s meet. I’m always happy to support new teams and leaders.
Before you go . . .
What do you do when the team-building activity starts?
Lean in?
Roll your eyes?
Reach for your phone?
Start crocheting? 😏Tell me. I can take it.
🎧 Read Aloud
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If this resonated, I write about connection, belonging, and becoming — in our classrooms, our relationships, and our everyday lives.
